there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

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Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

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Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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