A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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What's a small person? A midget

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Nobody cares.

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Doorbell salesman.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Penis.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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:O + :P = 69

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Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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