An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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what did the guy who had unsafe sex get? A good time

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ethan skov ex gf looked like a bull mastifs ring piece

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

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adam shagged katie lololol

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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Passing by

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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