What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.....

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a guy walks into a bar and finds an empty chair near the jukebox. He orders a drink and some peanuts and has a really good time listening to the music and drinking his beer.

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What's the difference between a terrorist and Bill Gates? One founded a successful software company, and the other commits mass murder of civilians for political gain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

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adam shagged katie lololol

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Wanna here a funny joke? Doug.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "one beer please." the bartender proceeds to go into shock as a duck just talked to him

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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What do you call a man with no body, just a nose? Nobody Knows.

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Hello penis

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

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69

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i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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