Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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How did the gymnast fall off the beam? Got shot in the face

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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6

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Why does the little boy play video games all the time? Because he is socially awkward and has no friends.

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walked into a bar and had a great time because all of them worship the same God. (Obs: The imam ordered only soft drinks)

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What's the difference between a terrorist and Bill Gates? One founded a successful software company, and the other commits mass murder of civilians for political gain.

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Rock, paper, scissors, ebola

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What do the Japanese hate more than sitting in traffic? tsunamis.

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What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

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why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

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Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

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I black guy was walking down a street when he saw a beautiful women and said to her that she looked lovely

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? Literally an endless list of things.

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If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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Have you ever heard of Yoda? From 'Attack of the Clones'?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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