Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you treat a homeless man? Like any other person, you disgusting fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and sticky? Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down -115

What did the Jew get for Christmas? A ride to a Concentrtation Camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how black is a black man? pretty black.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why does the little boy play video games all the time? Because he is socially awkward and has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do the Japanese hate more than sitting in traffic? tsunamis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

69

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Starter clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.....

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Hello penis

thumb_up thumb_down -76

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops