If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What's the difference between a terrorist and Bill Gates? One founded a successful software company, and the other commits mass murder of civilians for political gain.

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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Stephen Hawkings was ice skating on the Eiffel Tower... then he woke up.

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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the battle of waterloo

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A six foot chicken, a horse, and a muskrat walk into a bar. They are then detained by animal control and the bar undergoes a thorough cleaning.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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Knock knock It's open

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a guy walks into a bar and finds an empty chair near the jukebox. He orders a drink and some peanuts and has a really good time listening to the music and drinking his beer.

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why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

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Whats the difference between boyscouts and jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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how do you know a chinese person has been in your house? #1 your homework is done #2 your computer is upgraded #3 when you get home there still pulling out of your driveway

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I black guy was walking down a street when he saw a beautiful women and said to her that she looked lovely

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.....

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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two jews walk into a bar and were served properly

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Wanna here a funny joke? Doug.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? A ride to a Concentrtation Camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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