Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

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September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

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What's brown and sticky? Poop

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see.

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Why was Jesus able to walk on water? Because he was the son of God and therefore devine, he can do whatever he pleases

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Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

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What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

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4/20.

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Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

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What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

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Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

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What did the Black man say when he just got home from work? "Hi honey, I just got home from work."

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A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

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Q: What did one blind girl ask the other? A: Where are you?

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Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

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whats cheese thats not yours? the one in the toilet.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

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Guess what happened when a man took off his jumper?? He became cold!

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken!!!!!

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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