Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Where is my tractor?

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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Women.

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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