What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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Roses are red Kittens are fluffy This doesn't rhyme Cupcake

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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A genie came out of a lamp explain?

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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Hey

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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