A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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marshal sterio had sex

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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p p p penis. penis's are big and juicy

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms. A: Knock knock! B: Who's there? A: Not Sally.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops