Did you know it is impossible to say "Good eye might" and not sound Australian...

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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What do you get when you mix black, white, and Asian? A panda bear

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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hi michael

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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