What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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a korean guy robs a black guys convenient store!

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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The Irish man was sober.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

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Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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