whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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minecraft

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Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

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joe diragi makes paul look straight

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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