Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

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Frog-why did the chicken cross the road Chicken-dont judge me...

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Robert supra not deep throwing kaleb law wrench

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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What happened to boy who fell down the stairs? He died. What happened to the girl who fell down the same stairs? The boy who fell down the stairs hit her down the stairs too and they both died What happened to the man fell down these very same stairs? He got peer pressure and committed suicide.

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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