Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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Can I touch it?

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

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knock knock who's there? Barbra Streisand Barbra Streisand who? Barbra? Streisand whoo oo oooo oo oo oo ooo ooo!

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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