What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

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Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

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How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

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what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

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The 13th Amendment...

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

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whats white and gooy liguid goop

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anti jokes aren't always funny on here

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Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Guess who didn't have breakfast this morning? Kids in Africa

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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