Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Guess who didn't have breakfast this morning? Kids in Africa

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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your mom is so blind she cant read.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Barack Obama

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

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No it isn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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