How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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what is big and white? the moon

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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Toilet Sex, Toilet Sex I Love Toilet Sex!

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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how did the thirteen year old girl get pregnant? she was raped.

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so there are two muffins in an oven. one muffin says to the other muffin, "hey is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin says, "holy sh*t your a talking muffin."

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what is stupid and reading this you

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What happened to the Jew when he heard about the concentration camps being erected all over Germany? Nothing immediately. Then he and his family went into hiding where they were later discovered, taken to concentration camps and died along with millions of other Jews.

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Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

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John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

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Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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