How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

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What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

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What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

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The Bible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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