A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "one beer please." the bartender proceeds to go into shock as a duck just talked to him

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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y do churches have kneelers?, cuz it puts less stain on ur knees

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? Literally an endless list of things.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop

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Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

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What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

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what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

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A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I get you a drink?" The robot replies, "No, I'm a robot."

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What do the Japanese hate more than sitting in traffic? tsunamis.

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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Stephen Hawkings was ice skating on the Eiffel Tower... then he woke up.

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What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walked into a bar and had a great time because all of them worship the same God. (Obs: The imam ordered only soft drinks)

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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Why did The chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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