you

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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Hey Nerochan, how high is your IQ?

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

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IF UR READING THIS EXPECTING A GOOD JOKE HERE GOES.... WHY DID THE CUP SAY HELLO GET IT ? I DONT

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Where is my tractor?

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Nobody cares.

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Women's Sports

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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