What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Three blondes walk into a community college.

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Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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women

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a knife Take off your clothes

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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