How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

K

What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

A: Knock! Knock! B: Who's there? A: Kitchen B: Kitchen who? A: GET THERE!

osama bin ladens hiding spot

I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

maddie latino

Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

If u see a guy with a buzz cut and earrings what would u ask? R u a girl with cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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