I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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That didn't hurt.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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George Bush.

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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