What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Can you see this brett? Connor

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a black man named mike

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops