What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's up? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was the little girl crying? because she was molested

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

People Eating Tasty Animals

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops