A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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Halo < COD

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How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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