What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

im a selling a car

A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

poo poo you you doo doo too too

Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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