A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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What's worse than getting a detention? Slavery...just kidding that was a good thing!

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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A guy hit his elbow. Judaism.

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Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

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A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

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Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

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WILSON!!!!!!!!!

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A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

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Q. Why was the cat brown? A. because it was a maori

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops