Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Cows go moo.

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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oh hiya come in

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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Why was Timmy sad?

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Gadaffi

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops