Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Why did Kanye West hit Rihanna? He didn't. It was Chris Brown you dumb ****

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Your mother is so ugly, because she was badly beaten.

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

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i eat poop

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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Q: What did one poor guy say to the other poor guy? A: We're both black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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