No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do you need any assistance?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Blarg

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'm going to Re-write History... History

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey, name is Anita, I am Nero`s nurse, he told me to say that if you wish to speak any further, you are going to have to call him and prove you are not some guy. Say Tifa, do you ever play videogames?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I ate a pancake for breakfast not

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops