Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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I have no ideas.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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