Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

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A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

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who farted your mother

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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penis hehehehe

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baby loves lalma

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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