Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

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What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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Steven Yuhasz is so homosexual, he has sexual intercourse with other men and enjoys it. <33

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

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CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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