Japan called... They need help.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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That didn't hurt.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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