How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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Japan called... They need help.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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