A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

guess what chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

thumb_up thumb_down +11

im a selling a car

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops