This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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save water shower with friends

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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2

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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can't wait until the baby boomers die

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I can Nazi

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops