A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

96

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops