Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Left. That one direction...

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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George Bush does not care about black people.

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http://www.ladsta.com

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A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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