What is Earth made out of? Earth

There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

What time did the tennis start? Tennish

knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Knock knock (No one is home)

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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