There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what do you call a black man named mike

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Du bist mein Kampf

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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Tennesse

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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