what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

Can I touch it?

yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 was racist.

An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

Knock knock whos there punctuation

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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