what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops