what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Kittens.

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toast points

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops