What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

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What happened to the man that jumped off the cliff. He died....

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Boobs are nasty!

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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What do you cal a black boy with a bike? A thief

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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