A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Chuck Norris.

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What do you call a dumb Asian? An Asian who lacks education.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

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Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Whats the different between a black man and white man...... the different levels melanin in the skin that results in pigment

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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