What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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women

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gay rights

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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Mitt Romney for president.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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