I'm not here.

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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so an american, a Hispanic, and a Indian walk into a bar in Washington D.C, and the bartender says to the american "I'm sorry, but u have to leave.

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OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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What did the banana say to the peach? Dude, we can talk?

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mitchell likes balls in his mouth.

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Why does god never feel anger? Because you need to exist to have feelings.

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C'est l'histoire d'un français paumé qui se retrouve sur un site anglais.

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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whats funny? small ginger girls who die there head red, then it turns ginger again

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How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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