How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

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Yo momma's so nice that she baked cookies for us. Please tell her I said thanks.

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Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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How many people does it take to eat an apple ? One, unless it is divided into pieces for everyone to enjoy.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

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Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

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What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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whats funny? small ginger girls who die there head red, then it turns ginger again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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