Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

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What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

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What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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Obama is a good president.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops