Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

uio iu o p uoi p ui o p uio p uio p u io p uio p u io p uio p u iop u ok ghjlk hjkl hjkl jkl hj l hjkl kj l jkl hjkl hjlhjlhjkl l jh ot7843646 56 5 6 356 ghj hkj yj fg tj g d g d fgs dfg f sdgfs gdf gh fg dfhg rthgrth gfh fgh gh df h fgh fd hdf gh f hg et y er y ery ery ery r hfg h fb dgh rtu e tu k ryi k tyu e ry7 6 34 65 3 3 657 f g fb bn dfhs ah w t u y u eytu ye iu r6u uy reytkjnld;kafjgdsfjgsd fg sdf ghjsdfkhj sdfhjs dfjh sdf;hjsdjfh;k dfhjsdf hsfdjh sdfjh sdfjhsjdfdjh sdjf h fdhj dfl;jhsjdf hjs dfjh sdjfh sjdf h;ljsdf;lhjs;dlfjh sdfjh sd;fjh;lsdfjh sdfljh sdflhjs df;ljh sdf;hj ;dsfljhsdl;hj sdf;lhjsd fhj fds;lhjsdf ;lhjs d;lfhj df;hj sdfl;hj;ldfsjh ;lsdfhj sd;flhj fdhjsdf ;lhj sdf;lhjsdf;lhj What what in the buttt????????

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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