Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

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What did the man say to the homeless child. Where's you parents?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

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Q: what is man without a beard A:not a man

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours being in a zoo But don't worry I'll be there too Behind the bars, laughing at you

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why did the small child drop his icecream? he was hit by a bus

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What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

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How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

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why is your hair black? it was heretitery.

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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monkey sponge

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah Witness.

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Whats Black and hangs from a tree? A Tire(:

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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